Nine Months
by Michaelover101
Summary: After a damaging incident, Chuck and Blair swore to each other that they wouldn't risk it ever again. Years later, that promise is unwilling broken, will their love be strengthened or will it fall apart when it's really needed? Chuck/Blair TV-Based.
1. Are You Pregnant

-1_**Title: **_Nine Months

_**Author:**_ Michaelover101

_**Summary: **_After a damaging incident, Chuck and Blair swore to each other that they wouldn't risk it ever again. Years later, married and enjoying their lives, that promise is unwilling broken, will their love be strengthened or will it fall apart when it's really needed? Chuck/Blair TV-Based

_**Rating:**_ M

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not mine, not the TV show and not the books

_**Beta:**_ Flynn

Special thanks to Emily for the summary!!

_**Chapter One: Are You Pregnant?**_

She was tracing circles on his chest, lying on top of him. His eyes were closed, one hand was running up and down the small of her back while the other played with her fingers at his side.

"Do you want kids?"

His eyes snapped open to stare at her. He slowly sat up to lean on his elbows. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"Maybe."

Chuck stared at her and the embarrassed smile she wore. "Blair, are you pregnant?"

She gave a slow nod. "I took the test a few days ago. I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow. If you want to come with me." She started to move off him. "I'm just not sure yet."

"But… I mean, you might be?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I might be. We've haven't been exactly careful, you know."

"Yeah, we've been pretty liberal with the birth control."

"And we're not invincible."

"No."

"So… I'm pregnant." She moved her head from side to side in contemplation. "Well, maybe. So... do you want kids?"

"I really don't have a choice now, do I?" Chuck smirked as he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down under him as she giggled. He smiled. He smiled because he was the only person alive to hear Blair Waldorf giggle. Because Blair Waldorf might be carrying his child. Because for the first time in his life he wasn't thinking about whose life to ruin for the hell of it.

Xxx

Three months later she lay on her bed, his arm tight around her as she stared at the wall. His forehead was resting on her shoulder blades. Biting her lip she turned around, causing his eyes to open slowly.

"Do you want kids?" She asked quietly.

He winced at the question, but answered the way she expected him to answer. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"No," she whispered, her fingers running lightly over his cheek bone. "Do you want kids?"

He shook his head lightly. "No."

"Chuck..." she whispered.

"Blair, no, not anymore."

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest, her fingers lowering and curling against his argyle vest. "I'm sorry."

He tightened his hold and rubbed her back lightly. "It's not your fault. I just… I don't want kids, Blair."

"I get it."

He kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes. "I can give you everything else Blair. I'll give you the moon and the stars if that's what you want, but kids? Not anymore."

She nodded. "Okay."

He gave a sigh of relief and leaned down to lie his cheek against hers. "Okay."

Xxx

"You guys live like pigs," she muttered picking her way through the debris before lying back in bed with her boyfriend.

"It's college, " he laughed pulling her on top of him. "I don't have a cleaning staff anymore, and most of this is Nathaniel's," Chuck said closing his eyes as she started her post-coital ritual of lying on his chest and her finger made circles on his chest.

"Chuck?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want kids?"

He gave a sigh and looked at her. "Are you pregnant?"

"No."

"No, Blair."

"Why not?" She knew why, but after that day they'd gone through the usual mourning period and they'd stopped talking about it. Chuck didn't want to remember and she'd done her usual way of processing. She'd pretended it was all just a movie and the scene had just been cut out when it was finished editing.

He smirked as he looked up at her "Blair, baby, look at us."

She looked down and gave a smirk. "We're naked."

Chuck sighed and opened his eyes reluctantly. "We're spoiled, Blair."

"Very."

"We're manipulative."

"Mm-hm."

"In other words we're going to hell, no question about it."

"You maybe," she laughed. "I balance out my evil deeds with a healthy dose of community service, enough to get St. Peter thinking twice before sending me to the pits of hell."

"Blair, our generation is full of ungrateful brats who live off the misfortune of others. Can you imagine what the generation we create would be like?"

She raised an eyebrow. "We?"

"I mean 'we' as in our generation."

"Uh-huh."

"The people that come from us would be even more spoiled, more manipulative and would probably grow up being pyros since we're damning them to hell anyway."

"You don't honestly believe that?"

"I do. Therefore no, Blair, I do not want kids. I would not like to contribute to that generation, thank you."

Blair sighed and leaned her chin on his chest. "You sure?"

"Positive."

"Fine, I could live with that," she shrugged, "As long as you don't have any objections to being married. You don't, do you?"

Chuck shrugged. "You'd make an excellent first wife."

She looked up at him and found him smirk back at her. "Funny," she laughed as he flipped them over. He pressed kisses along her collarbone, her arms wrapped loosely around his neck. "Is that your way of proposing?"

"You'll know when I propose, Blair."

"Is that your way of saying you love me?" She teased, not being able to help the enjoyment she got out of seeing the look of frustration on his face.

"This is some of my best work here, B."

"Right, right, continue," she said waving him towards her neck and leaning her head to the side. "And just to let you know, I want a big gesture."

"For?"

"For when you propose."

"Blair, we're twenty. We have time."

"I'm just saying," she said, her fingers running through his hair. "If and when you propose, I want something big."

"Duly noted, now can we continue having sex?"

"Sure," she said flippantly, but moaned when he started sucking on the spot on her neck that always drove her wild.

Xxx

Six years later, at twenty three, she lay on the bed of their honeymoon suite in Monaco. She stared at her husband as he stood by the balcony window, a mug of coffee in his hands, wearing only a pair of salmon colored boxers as she lay in bed with a thin white sheet covering her upper body.

He'd kept his semblance of a promise and had given her the big gesture proposal. Dating for almost seven years, putting up with each other as Chuck would put it. He'd taken her to Victrola where it had all started and goaded her into dancing again.

She hadn't been buzzed at the time and had glared at him, shedding the skirt and blouse as she'd walked up on stage. He also hadn't stood by watching as she moved to the music, he'd climbed up on stage and turned her to face him.

In front of all the patrons and wait staff, along with their friends, he'd gotten down on one knee and proposed. It hadn't been the gesture she'd expected, she'd been in her dress slip and black heels and nothing else but it was definitely Chuck and she'd loved it. There were no words of undying love, no talk of them being soul mates, just 'will you marry me'.

She'd said yes, in an easy going voice, and shown her gratitude in the back of his limo once again.

The wedding had been big. Bigger than either of them had expected. Chuck had wisely stayed out of the planning, but showed up when he was summoned for cake tastings and tux fittings. Then, of course, at the altar.

He'd 'helped' with picking china patterns and wedding colors by picking them randomly when she'd shown him samples.

Now staring at him, with their futures ahead of them she had to ask.

"So, what's your standing on kids now that we're married?"

If he was startled by her being awake and staring at him, he didn't show it. He turned slowly and raised an eyebrow. "Why, you pregnant?"

Amazing that that was still his response six years later. Amazing how his face shuttered with pain for a split second before going back to his self-assured self. "No, just wondering."

"I still don't want them," Chuck shrugged.

"And you're standing firm on this? You're not going to change your mind."

"Yes and no," he sighed. "Blair, we both agreed that this was best. After getting engaged we made sure we still had the same standing on kids. We don't want them. We agreed."

"And I am still in agreement. You think I want to ruin my figure by popping out your spawn? Like the world needs more Chuck Basses roaming the streets. I just wanted to make sure we were still on the same page."

He could tell that under all that sarcasm she was hurt. He knew she at least wanted one child. A boy to take over from him when they grew old and someone to take over the Bass empire. Or a girl she could pamper like her mother never did with her.

She wanted to fix all the wrongs of her childhood. It was the one thing he didn't want and wouldn't give her.

"We're still on the same page," he said looking straight at her. He watched as she got up from the bed, wrapping the sheet tightly around her body and kissing him chastely.

"I'll go shower, get ready and I'll be your lady luck while you gamble, all right?"

He gave a short nod and looked back out the balcony as he heard the bathroom door close and the water start running.

At seventeen, they'd gotten pregnant. They'd been nervous, scared, excited. Everything that seventeen-year-olds faced at the prospect of being parents too young. Two weeks into the pregnancy she'd lost the baby.

The doctors swore it was normal for women, even at Blair's age, to lose children early into the pregnancy. They hadn't even broken the news to their parents when she'd lost the child. She'd been devastated and it was the one and only time he hadn't know how to make her feel better.

Serena had been there for her, comforting her as he got Nate's help to drink himself into oblivion. They hadn't talked about it, hadn't wanted to. Three months later as they lay on her bed, she asked him the usual questions about wanting kids.

He never wanted to go through that again. He didn't want to see the woman he cared for so deeply hurt like that. He never wanted to feel like that again. The sudden hope, then the sudden depression. He didn't think he could handle it again. He wasn't going through it again, and he'd be damned if he put Blair through it again.

The water shut off and she walked out, her dark brown hair dripping wet and hanging down her back as the white hotel towel wrapped around her body. She gave him a mischievous smile.

"You have two choices, Mr. Bass."

He couldn't help but smirk as he leaned against the wall looking at his wife. "Oh? What are my choices?"

"You can either stand there and keep drinking your coffee while I get dressed. Or..."

"I think I might enjoy this 'or'."

"Or," she laughed, "I can take another shower and this time you join me."

"I knew I'd like that or," he said setting his coffee cup down and following her into the bathroom as she dropped the towel in front of him and moved her hips provocatively. He caught her at the waist and threw her over his shoulder before closing the door to enjoy his first full day of married life.

Xxx

"Congratulations, Mrs. Bass, you're going to be a mommy."

"Excuse me?" She asked in shock. Oh, Chuck was going to kill her.

The doctor stood there a second before replying. "The, uh… the results, they showed up positive. You're pregnant, Mrs. Bass."

"Yeah, no. Go do the test again. I'll pee in the cup. You take the blood. Take the tests again," she said waving him off.

"I'm sorry?"

"The tests. Whatever tests you've been running for the past few weeks. Run them again and again until they turn up negative, now go."

"Uh…" the doctor frowned. "Okay, I'll run them again."

"And again until they're negative okay."

"Mrs. Bass, if you're pregnant, there's no changing the result."

"Until they're negative," she repeated ignoring him.

"Not to intrude in the relations of Mr. Bass and yourself…"

"Then don't," she said. "Go run the tests again."

The doctor stared at her a minute before leaving the room to run the tests a second time. Blair sighed and laid back on the exam table.

"Chuck is going to kill me," she muttered covering her eyes with her arm. "Oh, I really am going to be just his first wife," she winced. An hour later the doctor walked in again and she sighed as she looked up from her magazine.

"Mrs. Bass, the results."

"If they're positive, you run them again," she ordered. "I don't care the cost or the time it takes. You run them again."

"Yes, Ma'am," he muttered before leaving the room with a sigh. Five hours, four exams and one sonogram later she walked out holding a small printout of the baby growing inside her.

"Shit," she said as she got int the limo.

"Where too Mrs. Bass?"

"Victrola," she said as the door shut and she continued staring at the printout of the small bean-like figure. She stuffed it in her purse and decided on her approach.

She'd respected Chuck's decision to not have kids. He'd been devastated after she'd lost the baby when they were seventeen. They'd both taken it hard, so when he'd made the decision to not have kids, if not with her, then with anyone, she'd respected that.

She hated seeing Chuck hurt and depressed, she knew he'd hated feeling helpless and vulnerable. She shook her head and leaned back in the plush seat of the limo. She'd approach the situation with rationale and calm she did not feel. Just like she approached everything else.

The limo stopped and moments later her door opened. She stepped out taking the driver's hand and walked into the club that had launched the success of her husband as well as her relationship with him.

"Mrs. Bass, welcome back to Victrola." one of the wait staff said. Man or woman, she really couldn't tell nor care.

"Thank you," she said. "Where's Charles?"

"Upstairs with that handsome devil that is his father."

"Thank you," she said walking past the waiter/waitress and upstairs to the VIP lounge as well as Chuck's office. She hesitated before knocking briskly.

"Come in," Bart Bass's voice rang loud and clear.

"Bart," Blair greeted putting a smile as she faced her father-in-law.

"Ah, Blair," he said kissing her cheek smiling himself. "You are looking radiant, today."

"Why thank you, you don't look so bad yourself." She turned towards her husband and went over to kiss him softly.

"You're two hours late," he stated as she pulled away.

"Got held up."

"Have you eaten?" Bart asked. "We waited but when you didn't show, Charles ordered lunch."

"I have," she lied. "Had so many errands to run, I completely forgot to call and let you both know. I'm very sorry."

"It's not a problem, my dear. Charles, I'll talk to you later about these plans," Bart said holding up the report.

"Of course, father."

"Blair, I'll see both of you at dinner in a few weeks."

"Of course, Bart," she said with a smile as he left the room closing the door tightly behind him.

"So why are you really late?" Chuck asked sitting behind his desk as Blair set her purse down on the couch as she paced the room.

"Doctor's ran late," she admitted looking out the window of his office

"Your appointment was at ten, it's now a quarter to three."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"I called."

"I got the messages. I came straight here after the appointment." She looked away from the window and over at her husband who was looking at her.

"Blair, what's going on?"

"We've been together, what, eight years?"

"Something like that," he nodded.

"Married two."

"Yeah."

"And you still don't want kids?" She asked.

He raised an eyebrow and asked the customary "Why, are you pregnant?"

She looked away and didn't answer. He frowned at her and stood up slowly. "Blair, this is the moment when you say some smartass remark about not wanting to bear my evil spawn. So I'll repeat my question. Are you pregnant?"

"I can't make my customary smartass remark, Chuck."

"Blair!" he warned.

"I made them run the test five times. It's what took me so long."

"You can't be pregnant," he said.

"Please!" She scoffed tossing her hair over her shoulder as she turned back to look at him. "We're never great at the birth control thing. It's like it doesn't exist with us. I'm surprised we haven't had more pregnancy scares than the one years ago and this one."

"So this is a scare?"

"No, this is real, Chuck." She sighed and moved to the couch and sank down on it, burying her face in her hands. "Tell me what to do, Chuck, and I'll do it. It's early enough to get rid of the baby if you want to."

"Get rid of it."

She looked up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Get rid of it, Blair," he said fiercely.

She stood up slowly and grabbed her purse. Swallowing hard she nodded. "Fine, there's a clinic in Hartford we can go to. Do you have a few free hours?"

"Why?"

"I'm not doing this alone," she said. "You don't want it, fine, I'll go and get rid of it," she winced inwardly. "But I refuse to do it alone. If you don't have free hours now, then clear some tomorrow. Because like it or not, you're going with me."

She grabbed her purse and left the office, leaving Chuck to stew. She was about to climb into the limo when the doors to the club opened and Chuck walked outside, his jaw clamped tight and ticking.

She got in the limo, placing her sunglasses over her eyes as he slipped in next to her. The door shut and the limo moved moments later. She looked over at him as he stared out the window, his hands clenched tightly on his thigh.

"Chuck-" she started. He unfurled his hand and held it up to silence her.

"Blair, right now is really not the time to talk."

"All right," she nodded. She took off her glasses and set them on the seat between them. Slipping off her heels she rubbed her heels before running her toes through the soft carpeting of the limo floor.

The baby had to have been conceived in the limo, she smiled and leaned against the seat looking out the window.

Victrola always got the best of them. They always remembered their first time together, her dancing on stage, him realizing he loved her. She rubbed her feet on the carpet again. Somehow every time they ended up having drinks at Victrola, she'd end up on her back in the limo.

She hated that he made her so weak, but, god, the sex was always amazing.

"Look," he said turning to her. She stopped her reminiscing and turned to him. "I hate this as much as you do. You know how I feel about abortions."

'Then don't make me get one," she muttered.

"Blair, I'm not going through that again. And I'm not putting you through it." He shook his head. "I told you I would give you everything you ever wanted and needed. But not kids, B, never kids."

"I know," she nodded looking over at him, his hands clenched tight. She made the move and covered them with her own. She forced the fingers open and interlaced their fingers. "And I've respected that. You have kept your promise. You've made me happier than I ever expected, Chuck. It's why I'm on my way to a clinic to get an abortion to keep respecting your wishes. But making me do this may hurt me more than losing another baby."

"Don't say that, Blair," he muttered closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

"But," she sighed, "If you're dead set on this, then we'll get this done and be more careful with birth control."

They both felt the limo stop and he winced when she moved towards the door. He stopped her as the door opened and pushed her back on the seat. "Answer one question."

"Of course."

"Did you do this on purpose?"

She stared at him with wide eyes, prepared to let loose anger for him to even think that of her. But then again she was Blair Waldorf-Bass, if she wanted something she got it, no matter the cost. So instead of yelling, she kissed him lightly and shook her head.

"When we got together, we silently agreed not to use our manipulative skills against each other. I wouldn't betray that, this wasn't done on purpose, it was an accident."

Chuck leaned back and signaled the driver to close the door.

"I'm not getting an abortion in New York, Chuck."

"You're not getting one at all," he muttered as the car started moving again.

"Excuse me?"

"I'll let you keep it."

"What?"

"I'm allowing you to keep the baby."

"Al-" she bit her tongue as he looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. "Very gracious of you."

"If that shit happens again though, if you lose the baby, Blair, you're on your own. I'm not going to deal with that shit again. Deal?"

"Deal," she nodded.

"I don't want to know about the baby. I don't want updates and I refuse to go to doctor's appointments. I'm not getting involved in this. If the baby's born..."

"When," she corrected leaning closer to him.

"_If,_" he repeated, "Then maybe I'll take an interest. I'm not excited about this."

"I know."

"We're only doing this once, so don't screw it up."

"I won't," she said biting her lip to keep form laughing. He was talking about the baby as if it were a family pet rather than a living being. She leaned her head on his shoulder and grabbed her purse and pulled it forward. Not being able to resist she pulled the sonogram out of her purse.

"Baby Bass," she murmured.

Chuck looked down at the sonogram and rolled his eyes before looking out the window. "The minute you name the thing, you get attached."

"I don't mind," she said looking up at him before sticking the picture back in her purse. "I really don't."

"I do," he muttered as she leaned her head back on his shoulder.

Xxx

_**A.N: **_

This is my first venture into the Gossip Girl fandom. I'm hoping you all enjoyed it. Reviews are welcome as is feedback! Chapter two hopefully will be up soon!

Kassandra


	2. On The Couch

_**Chapter 2: On The Couch**_

He wasn't in a people mood, even if was their best friends and their significant others. He watched as she flitted from one side of the apartment to the other, ordering the maids around so that dinner went off without a hitch.

"B., it's just Nate and Serena," he said stopping her on her third trip past the bar where he was standing.

"I want to tell them. No, I'm going to tell them," she corrected. "I just want everything perfect."

"You're a great hostess, but Nate and Serena would be fine with drinks in the sitting room. Vanessa and Dan don't even notice we have a dining room to eat in. They'd most likely get the coffee table confused with a dining table."

"Chuck, just let me do this," she ordered glaring at him.

"Fine, call me when they're here," he said turning and walking towards his office.

She leaned against the wall of the dining room and watched the center piece be placed on the table. Frowning, she shooed the maid away and moved the center piece off the table, taking it back to the kitchen before ordering the maid to put the food back in the oven and not take it out until they were ready.

_**Xxx**_

"Look, I know you're not used to hanging out with Blair and Chuck," Nate began.

Vanessa squeezed his hand. "It'll be fine."

"It's just that..." Serena started, "We usually meet at a restaurant where they're on their best behavior, or, you know, hang out with them one at a time, never on their terrain."

"It's different," Nate warned.

"It'll be fine," Dan assured. "We've dealt with Chuck alone, we dealt with Blair alone. I think we can handle them together."

Serena looked over at Nate who shrugged. "We tried to warn them."

The elevators opened to reveal a maid carrying dishes to the dining room. Blair walked over with a smile.

"Nate, Chuck is in his office. Why don't you go get him, grab drinks and meet us in the dining room?"

"All right," Nate nodded, letting go of Vanessa's hand and going towards the study. He opened the door and found his best friend staring out the window, drinking a scotch.

"Starting early?" Nate teased closing the door behind him.

Chuck looked over and set his drink down. "Have you been here long?"

"Just got here. Blair sent me to get you. You two okay? She seems stiff. Well, more so than usual."

Chuck chuckled as he poured himself a scotch and another for Nate. "We're…okay," he sighed. "Just… in an argument right now. But we're fine."

"Blair says to grab drinks."

Chuck nodded as they left the office. He closed the door behind him and grabbed a bottle of champagne that he left to chill under the bar along with a bottle of sparkling water for Blair.

They walked into the dining room to see Dan and Vanessa seated already.

"Serena went to help Blair," Dan said as Chuck took his seat. Since the table was uneven, he let Nate take the seat at the head of the table, next to Vanessa, while an empty chair where Serena would sit separated Vanessa and Dan.

Chuck took a seat across from Dan, leaving the seat between himself and Nate free for Blair. He uncapped the water and poured it into Blair's glass, standing to put the empty bottle away.

"No cocktails for Blair?" Nate asked.

"Not tonight," Chuck murmured sitting back down as the girls came in laughing and taking their seats.

"Chuck," Serena smiled. "It's been a while since we got together. Hard at work?"

"Something like that," Chuck said picking up his fork and hitting it lightly on his plate. Blair put her hand on top of his to stop the movement.

"Forgive Chuck, he's not in a sociable mood tonight. He'd probably be holed up in that office of his if I'd let him."

"Is something wrong, B.?" Serena asked as the food was served.

"Of course not, why would you think that?"

"You're drinking sparkling water instead of having a cocktail like you usually do at dinner. And you're shifting nervously. B., I know you. Something's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," Blair said quickly.

"Just tell them, Blair, maybe it'll shut her up," Chuck said with a roll of his eyes.

"I had it all planned out," Blair pouted. "But I guess now is fine."

"What is it?" Nate asked.

"Chuck and I…"

"Just you," Chuck corrected.

"I am pregnant."

Serena and Nate looked at each other before Serena smiled. "This is good?"

"It's very good." Blair nodded excitedly.

"Oh B.!" Serena cooed standing up and running around the table to hug her best friend. "Oh, this is amazing."

"Yeah, Blair, congratulations," Dan said.

"Thanks." Blair smiled as Nate stood to hug her. Nate went over to Chuck and patted his shoulder.

"You alright?" Nate asked.

Chuck shrugged as Vanessa gave her congratulations and everyone took their seats once again. "Blair and I made a deal. I'm with her when we tell our family and friends, then I don't hear anything of the pregnancy afterwards."

"You're not happy about being a father?" Dan asked, "I thought, as a Bass, you'd want a house full a kids. You know, to carry on the Bass line."

"Well, you really don't know me that well," Chuck said shoving his plate away. "But I've allowed Blair one child."

"Allowed?" Vanessa asked, her voice indignant.

"That's right, allowed." Chuck nodded. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"You can't allow Blair to do anything," Vanessa said, offense evident in her voice.

"Nate," Blair said gesturing to Vanessa.

"Vanessa, let it go." Nate said quietly.

"I can and I did." Chuck all but growled. "Blair knew the rules when we got married. She's lucky I'm letting her keep the thing. Nathaniel, control your woman."

"Excuse me?!" Vanessa asked sitting straighter and glaring at Chuck.

"Chuck, go get a drink," Blair said touching his arm.

"I've got a full one right here."

"Go, now!" Blair ordered. He narrowed his eyes on Vanessa before pushing away and leaving the dining room. Blair turned her head back to Vanessa. "Just because you're marrying an Archibald, doesn't mean you know how our world works, _V_."

"I never said-"

"You don't know anything about my husband," she said turning to Dan. "Or myself. I count myself lucky that Chuck let me keep the baby."

"Would you have gotten rid of it?" Serena asked.

"That's besides the point," Blair said standing up, folding her napkin and putting it on the table. "I think we should postpone dinner. Chuck seems to be opposed to visitors right now, and it seems I've lost my appetite."

"Of course, B. We'll meet up at a later date when Chuck feels more up to it," Nate told her standing up as well.

"You know your way out," Blair said leaving the dining room.

Serena took Dan's hand and followed Nate and Vanessa out. They reached the elevator and waited for it to arrive just as Blair opened the office door, allowing them to hear the argument.

"You could have been nicer."

"Then I wouldn't have been myself."

"Look, Chuck, I under-"

"No, you don't. Leave, Blair."

"Chuck..." she sighed.

"Leave. I'll be up later and we'll talk. Just leave."

"Fine. But you're being an ass," she said snapping the door closed, just as the elevator dinged open. She turned and looked over at her friends before turning back to the dining room.

Nate pushed them towards the elevator as Serena pushed the button to close the doors. As the doors closed, Nate rounded on his fiancé.

"When I say let it go, you have to let it go."

"Chuck has no right talking to Blair like that. Granted I don't like either of them…"

"You don't know Chuck and you don't know Blair," Serena said softly. "Chuck isn't allowing Blair to do anything and Blair isn't letting Chuck boss her around."

"Serena, you've got to admit it sounds like Chuck wants Blair to get rid of the baby rather than have it," Dan said.

Serena looked at Nate who sighed. "It's because that may be the case."

"Look, there's a lot you don't know about the couple that makes Chuck and Blair," Serena said.

"What's to know?" Dan asked "They're evil."

Nate laughed and nodded as they left the elevator and started walking down the streets of Manhattan. "That is very true. Look… Dan, you remember that pregnancy test Serena bought when we were seventeen?"

"The one for Blair?"

"Yeah," Serena bit her lip. "Blair lied."

Vanessa and Dan stopped and turned leaving Serena and Nate to stand together.

"Blair-she was pregnant?" Dan asked.

"With Chuck's child," Nate elaborated.

"Well, obviously something happened, because there's not a little Chuck pitter-pattering around their apartment," Vanessa said.

"About two weeks later, before they could share the news, let alone wrap their mind around it, Blair lost the baby. The doctor said it was too much stress on Blair's body and her body aborted the baby on its own."

"They took it pretty hard," Nate said. "They both dealt with it in their own way. Didn't really talk to each other. Chuck drank, hard, really lost it."

"Blair slept, didn't talk. She didn't know how to feel about it," Serena told them. "When they finally did get together again, they talked about it briefly before they went back to before the baby."

"After that Chuck decided he didn't want kids. Blair accepted that. They act all…" Nate searched for the word to describe their friends.

"Hard, tough it's what makes them perfect for each other. But they care deeply for each other. It hurts them both to see each other in emotional distress." Serena finished for him.

"Chuck swore that he wasn't going to have kids, he wasn't going to put anyone in that position again. Blair accepted that." Nate continued.

"So if Chuck had asked for an abortion?" Dan asked.

"Blair would have gotten it, no questions asked." Serena nodded. "So when Chuck says he allowed Blair to keep the baby, it's because he somewhat did, Vanessa. It wasn't meant as a sexist statement or a macho thing. It was just that. He's allowing Blair the pregnancy. He could have easily have disallowed her and she would have gone with it."

"At least on this one subject." Nate said quickly. "Blair isn't one to let someone push her around. What Blair wants she gets, what Blair says goes. But when it comes to kids, that's all on Chuck. So next time when I say let it go, Vanessa, just let it go."

Serena took Dan's hand. "The relationship that Chuck and Blair have is really different from what you and I have. Or what you and Nate have, V. Nate and I, we adjusted to your background and blended in. Chuck and Blair both come from the same background and follow a different set of rules, rules you haven't come in contact with."

"It's why we keep you guys out of contact with them when possible," Nate admitted. "That, and Chuck really doesn't like you guys."

"Yeah, we got that," Vanessa said as they started walking the street and pulled Nate's arm to get his attention. "Would you make me get rid of a baby if you didn't want it?"

Nate laughed. "Don't pull me into that one, Vanessa. It's different for us. If I were in Chuck's situation, yeah, I'd think twice before getting someone pregnant, but I'm not and I don't have to," he shrugged.

"Hmm," Vanessa said wanting to make him elaborate but having a feeling the conversation was over for now.

_**Xxx**_

Blair sat at her vanity in the bathroom, combing her hair out. She'd already stripped out of her dress and left on her slip. She stared at herself in the mirror, brushing her hair out slowly, counting in her head how many brush strokes it was.

"How many more left?"

She looked up into the mirror to find her husband leaning against the doorjamb. She looked away and back at herself. "Twenty eight."

"I know you're mad."

"Mad doesn't cover it," she said finishing the last ten strokes and setting her brush back on her vanity carefully in its place before turning and throwing her hair over her shoulder. "Infuriated does."

"Blair..."

"Chuck!" She said holding her hand up to quiet him. "You've talked, now it's my turn."

"Fine."

"You think I don't get what you're going through with this pregnancy? Chuck, I lost the baby too."

"I know that."

"Stay silent and let me finish. I understand that you don't want anything to do with the pregnancy after we announce it to our families. But you have to realize that I'm pregnant, there's no getting rid of that fact. I know it hurts you, I know it scares the hell out of you. But I don't want to go through this alone. I want you there, every step of the way. It's the way-"

"Way it what?" He asked. "Played out in the movie that is your life? A loving husband taking care of his wife's every need and craving? You married the wrong man for that, babe," he said turning and walking out of the bathroom.

She stood up and followed him into the bedroom as he pulled the covers back. "I don't expect any of that. The every need and craving is what we have a wait staff for, and the loving husband bit, well… you're Chuck Bass, I know you better than that. But I expected a bit more consideration."

"Consideration for what, Blair?" He asked sitting on the bed and starting to change, starting by taking off his shoes.

"These things called my feelings. While you may not have wanted kids, I did. I do," she corrected. "I had resigned myself during our honeymoon to the fact that I wouldn't get that."

"You have resigned yourself to that after we lost the baby," he pointed out unbuttoning his shirt.

She swallowed and crossed her arms over her stomach. "Maybe I always hoped you'd change your mind. I don't know, but our honeymoon made me realize that you were dead set on your decision, and I accepted it. I thought maybe later down the years I would be able to convince you to adopt. You know, Angelina Jolie-style."

"Would have never happened, Blair."

"You have to think, Chuck, that now that we're pregnant..."

"You're pregnant."

"_We_ are," she said fiercely glaring at him. "_We__ are_ pregnant, Chuck. That I want this. I really want this. So you saying that you want nothing to do with this child hurts."

"Well, too damn bad. If you expect me to get emotionally involved in this, you're wrong."

"Chuck..."

"No! I'm not going to get my hopes up only for you to lose the baby. I told you Blair, that day in front of the clinic. If you have this baby, fine, I'll accept it, but till then, everything's fair game. You're dealing with the aftermath after you lose the baby."

"Sleep on the couch," she said.

"What?"

"I don't want you in this room tonight. Go sleep on the couch."

"That couch is uncomfortable." he said in defiance, and confusion. Blair and he had gotten into arguments before, worse then this one, and she'd never once made him sleep on the couch.

"Good, now go. You want nothing to do with the baby? Well, the baby and I are sleeping on this bed meaning you're not welcome. So go."

"Blair, this is ridiculous." he said with a shake of his head as he finished undressing.

"Go."

Turning to look at her she saw her arms crossed over her stomach, and her mouth set in a thin hard line while she glared at him, her eyes telling him there was no teasing meant in the statement. This wasn't an argument he could fix with a kiss, or a seducing.

Shaking his head in disbelief, he grabbed his pillow and slammed out of the bedroom. He walked down the stairs towards his office where the couch was more comfortable. He walked into the office about to lay on the couch when he shook his head with a glare.

"I'm Chuck Bass," he muttered. "No one kicks me out of the bedroom." He stormed back up the stairs and towards the bedroom. His hand was on the knob, preparing himself to go in and give Blair a peace of his mind.

Instead he heard her sobs and laid his forehead against the door, dropping his hand. He turned around and sat down next to the door, listening to his wife cry, burying his face in his hands.

"I'm not getting involved," he muttered to himself. "Not getting involved." He repeated it to himself for five minutes before getting up and forcing himself to walk away form the bedroom back to his office to sleep.

_**XxxxxX**_

_**A.N: **_ A few of you mentioned that Blair and chuck are OOC, and I would like to point out that this is my first Gossip Girl fic, and I'm still getting use to the characters. So just bare with me while I play around lol. This is my guinea pig story.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope to have the next out soon!

Kassandra


	3. Safe

_**Chapter 3: Safe.**_

"Hey S., it's B. Meet me at Bendel's, I need to get Chuck a new cologne that doesn't make me gag." She hung up the phone as she climbed into the waiting car, telling the driver to head to Bendel's.

She flipped her phone open, scrolling down the names until she found her husband's. Tapping her fingers on the keys she shut the phone and threw it on the seat in front of her. Not two minutes later it began to ring, Chuck's name lighting up on the caller's ID.

She hesitated before answering. "You left early this morning."

"Had a breakfast meeting," he said. "I just wanted to know if we were having dinner with the parents tonight?"

"It is our monthly dinner."

"You're still angry."

"Don't really want to talk about it right now. I'm on my way to Bendel's. Your cologne isn't sitting well with the baby."

"Any excuse for you to go shopping," Chuck said, then sighed. "Blair, I don't want this to ruin us."

"Then don't let it."

"I picked you, Blair, just remember that."

"Don't threaten me, Bass," Blair said crossing her arms over her chest. "We're past that point. We have our problems, we'll work them out. Why don't you start by analyzing why you don't want this baby? Then we'll talk."

"You know why."

"Dinner's at seven, be ready by six forty five, my mother likes to arrive early." She hung up the phone throwing it in her purse this time. The car stopped and she climbed out with the help of the driver, setting her sunglasses in place, happy to see Serena waiting for her out front.

"Got your message, and I come bearing gifts," she said holding out a Styrofoam cup. "It's vanilla, wasn't sure what your stomach can handle."

"I'm not sure either," Blair admitted. "Do you want to walk around a little?"

"Yeah, come on," Serena smiled leading her away from the store front as they walked and ate their ice cream.

"How's Chuck?" Serena asked scrapping her spoon against the Styrofoam.

"He's… taking this so hard," Blair sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"Hes excited," Serena assured.

"Deep down, yeah, I know he is. But he's already made up his mind that I'm going to lose the baby. He's sleeping on the couch."

"Out of free will?"

"I made him."

"Hard to believe anyone can make Chuck Bass do anything."

"I have a bit of influence," Blair teased, then sighed. "I don't know how to get through to him. He's so focused on ignoring the pregnancy that I'm afraid that when I do have the baby, he's going to ignore her too."

"Her?"

"I'm hoping for a little girl." Blair sighed as they turned into Central Park, heading towards the children's park.

"He'll come around, B.," Serena assured. "It's Chuck."

"Exactly, it's Chuck. I love the guy, but he's not exactly an expert at emotions."

"He's stunted."

"He is, but when it's around me, he tends to be an open book. He may not say anything, but I just look at him and I know what he's feeling. Now, I look at him and he's closed off, and I can't do anything if he doesn't let me in. Stupid emotional retard."

Serena laughed as they sat on a bench, watching the children play as they picked at their ice cream. "He'll come around, Blair."

"I don't want to go through this alone, S.," Blair said. "I'm scared. What if he's right? What if I do lose the baby again?"

"Just because Chuck Bass says you have to deal with it alone doesn't mean you will."

"I don't know, S." Blair smiled and watched the kids climbing the jungle gym and looked over at Serena. "I never pictured myself the maternal type. And I definitely don't see Chuck the paternal type."

"Neither do I," Serena laughed.

"With Nate, it was easy seeing a house full of kids. With Chuck…" Blair laughed. "I never wanted anything more."

"It's got to be hard dealing with that," Serena said. "With Chuck so adamant."

"It is, and I've dealt with it. And I accepted it. Must be easy for you, Dan wanting kids so bad."

Serena sighed. "He wants five, Blair. I mean I thought, sure I'd love to have one. But five?"

Blair smiled. "You and Dan both grew up being the elder siblings, he probably holds onto that. That or he's turning you into a breeding machine."

"Gee, thanks."

"Before… you know," Blair said. "When Chuck and I first started officially dating, we decided on two."

"Really?" Serena asked in surprise.

"We both grew up only children, it gets lonely. Chuck didn't get his siblings until after your mother married Bart. We decided on one to take over after Chuck retired and the other to keep the first company. It's stupid now."

"You still want those two."

"Desperately," Blair laughed but waved her hand dismissively. "Enough about me and my problems. What about you, when are you and Humphrey going to set a date and have those five kids?"

Serena laughed. "Rufus felt that it'd be best we wait after college. Now two years later, we're out of college and Dan feels we should settle down first, get our careers in line before getting married." She sighed as they got up and walked away from the jungle gym, Blair giving one last glance at the children before they walked back towards Fifth Avenue. "Now I have a feeling V. and N. will get married before us."

Blair laughed. "You thought you'd get married before Chuck and I and look, we've been married two years now."

Serena shrugged. "I understand that Dan wants us both to get our careers in order, him with the publishing house and, well, me deciding what the hell I'm going to do with a degree in English Lit, but the whole idea of getting married and then settling around that sounds so much more appealing than settling now, then just making it official."

"It'll happen," Blair said as they walked into Bendel's. "As much as I hate to admit it, Humphrey has an appeal, and I can see he wants to tie the knot as much as you do. And what is that smell?" Blair asked stopping at the entrance.

Serena hid her smile. "B., the store has always smelled like that."

"No, Bendel's has never smelled like this." She took a sniff and furrowed her brow. "Smells like ass," she said loudly, causing a few people to turn and glare at Blair.

"How do you know what ass smells like?" Serena asked teasingly.

"You remember when I used to visit Chuck at Yale? How he and Nate roomed together?"

"Yeah," Serena said slowly as they made their way through the store, Blair sniffing the entire way.

"That's how I know what ass smells like. Two boys living together, no cleaning crew and a weekend of parties." She shook her head. "I ended up hiring a staff for them. It was just disgusting. Like this smell. Oh my god."

Serena laughed. "Blair, I think that's just the baby disagreeing with the perfumes."

Blair gave her a doubtful look as they reached the fragrance department.

"Hello miss, would you like to try our signature fragrance? Our newest scent is BourbonVanilla." Before they were able to respond, the clerk sprayed the bottle, Serena taking the grunt of the strong smelling fragrance, but Blair still got sprayed and couldn't help but gag at the smell, covering her mouth and nose in response.

Serena grabbed Blair's arm before Blair lost her breakfast in the perfume section of Bendel's and led her back out the store. The minute the doors closes behind them, Blair sucked in the fresh air, trying the push the bile down.

"Okay, so Chuck is just going to have to deal with wearing no cologne," Blair said after a few moments of sucking in air, clearing her sinuses.

"I'm telling you with the baby you're going to be more sensitive to smells."

"Ugh," Blair said, her hand on her stomach as she took another gulp of air. "This is worse than last time."

"B., I don't think you were pregnant long enough to really get the side effects last time."

"I got morning sickness and that was bad. Can we walk?"

'Yeah." Serena sad as they started walking down the sidewalk, Blair's hand permanently on her stomach. "Are you getting morning sickness now?"

"A bit, not as bad as last time, but I have a feeling it'll get worse."

Serena bit her lip as she thought. Blair noticed and sighed in frustration. "What?"

"It's just… aren't you afraid your… condition might come back?"

Blair raised an eyebrow. "You mean the bulimia?"

Serena winced, they'd never really said the word out loud. It wasn't until recently that Blair had been more blunt about it. "Yeah."

Blair shrugged. "That's a fear I have everyday. But I'm taking the right steps for it. I called my old therapist Dr. Shoman yesterday and he's happy to fit me in, though he better be with the money I'm paying him."

"And Chuck?"

"Chuck will probably be watching me as he usually does. And I'm hoping he'll hit the gym with me to lose the post-baby weight," Blair laughed.

Serena laughed with her, wrapping an arm around her friend's shoulder. "Okay, that's all I wanted to know. I'll see you tonight at dinner."

"See you tonight," Blair said as she stopped at the limo and Serena continued down the street. The driver opened the door for her allowing her to step in and she slid into her seat. The door closed and a few second later the driver door closed. She slid the partition down to talk to the driver.

"Victrola," was all she said before she slid the partition back up and opened her phone dialing as the limo lurched into traffic.

"Blair," he answered with a sigh.

"I'll be in front of Victrola in 15 minutes. We're going to lunch."

He sighed before agreeing. "Fine."

"Fine." She closed her phone and leaned her head back in the seat closing her eyes. True to her word, fifteen minutes later she was in front of the club. The door opened to allow Chuck to slip in. He murmured the restaurant to the driver before letting the door close.

"How's S.?" He asked as she slipped on her sunglasses.

"Fine," she answered, though she wanted to stay strong and put on an act of being upset with her husband. Chuck had been the only one she'd really been able to be herself around, to be the weak individual she hated so much and only because she knew he'd never her judge her for it. So with a suffering sigh, she slid closer and leaned her head against his shoulder.

Chuck looked down at her, kissing the top of her head and wrapping his arm around her shoulder, his fingers trailing up and down her arm. "How did the cologne shopping go?"

She groaned, her stomach churning at the thought. "Do you mind not wearing any cologne for the next eight months?"

He couldn't help the chuckle that left his lips. "Sure."

"Where are we going to eat?"

"Palace. I thought it'd be safe. I might not like the idea of you being pregnant, but I'm not going to see you sick."

"Chuck-" she started.

He shook his head and cut her off. "We'll talk in a few minutes, all right? Right now, we're fine. The limo has always been our safe place, so no yelling, all right?"

She gave a sigh of relief and took off the sunglasses. Looking up at him, she raised her hand and placed it on his cheek. He looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. "We haven't made out in a while," she said innocently.

He laughed. "True." He leaned down, his hands moving to cup her cheeks and capturing her lips with his. She moaned at the contact. They hadn't had any physical contact since after she's announced she was pregnant which had been at least three days ago. And three days for them was forever in their world.

She shifted in her seat breaking contact with his lips as he skimmed them down her throat to her shoulder as she went to straddle his lap.

"If we weren't so close to The Palace, I'd probably have you lying on the floor by now," he teased as their lips connected again. She laughed against his lips.

"Same here," she whispered before crashing her mouth back onto his. She knew that the minute they were out of the limo, they'd return to being annoyed with each other. Chuck would continue to be his cold self and she would continue being the bitch. But for now they were just Chuck and Blair. In their limo. Kissing.

Blair sighed as his lips found the sensitive flesh behind her ear. And she wished that the silent rules they had extended for the limo extended for the outside world. But for now, she'd enjoy the few minutes of peace they were giving each other, to enjoy her husband before the arguing began once again.

_**XxxX**_

_**A.N.: **_Thanks for all the feedback you guys! I'm glad your enjoying the story! This chapter isn't my favorite, but it's just a filler for the chapter to come. Next chapter is lunch at the palace along with the dinner with their families as well as some more Chuck and Blair moments.

Hope you all enjoyed! Remember to review!

Kassandra


	4. Feelings Aren't My Thing

_**Chapter 4: Feeling Aren't My Thing**_

"Gilt is that way," Blair said as Chuck led her through the lobby of the Palace Hotel and the opposite direction of the restaurant.

"We're not eating at Gilt, Blair, we're going up to my suite."

Blair smiled. She knew he still kept his old suite, forever reserved under his name, just like his father and Lily kept the penthouse even though they'd moved into an actual house outside New York years ago.

1812 held just as many memories for them as the limo did. And it had always been a a place to go when they couldn't make it back to their penthouse in Manhattan or if they wanted to relive old days, which is why her Constance uniform and his St. Jude's uniform were hung up in the closet of the suite.

The ride up was silent, Chuck tense and looking at her out of the corner of his eye while she stared at their reflection in the mirrored elevator doors. He didn't look mad as she thought he would be, he looked… tired. She bit her lip lightly and looked away just as the doors opened.

His hand found the small of her back and led her to the room. He slid the key into the door and let her enter first before following in and making sure the door was locked.

She slipped off the coat she was wearing, leaving her in her coffee-colored silk tieneck blouse and her skinny jeans that was a rarity in and of it self. She preferred skirts to jeans. But since she'd been out with Serena and Serena liked to dress down, she'd decided on a pair of jeans that donned the back of her closet most days. Her feet donned a matching pair of heels that matched the color of her shirt to perfection.

She walked over to the bar where Chuck had already made himself comfortable behind it, fixing himself a drink.

"Water?" he asked.

"Ginger ale," she corrected.

"Did you want to order something from the kitchen?" he asked as he poured her a glass of ginger ale and set it next to her.

"I'm not hungry," she sighed. "It's not supposed to be this tense, Chuck."

"I know," he admitted leaning against the shelves that held the liquor behind the bar.

"Then why is it? We know why we're here to talk, we've been talking about it since I told you I was pregnant. You agreed I could have the baby."

"I know," he groaned. "I know."

"It's still not too late if you decided to change your mind," she whispered.

His eyes snapped to her face which was downcast, staring at her drink as she swirled it in the glass. He gave a sigh and shook his head. "No, I haven't changed my mind, this makes you happy."

"But it doesn't make you happy," she whispered, looking at him this time. "A baby is supposed to be a happy thing with normal couples."

"We're not exactly a normal couple, Blair, I don't think this applies to us."

"You have a choice, Chuck."

He scoffed and stared at her in disbelief. "Sure, Blair, make you get rid of the baby and not only do I lose yet another child, but I lose you too."

"I wouldn't have left you," she denied.

"Maybe not in the legal sense," he told her. "But I know you, Blair. Something like this happens, you'd withdraw into yourself, just like when we lost the first one. I lost so much when that happened."

"Of course we did," she agreed.

"You don't get it, Blair, do you? I didn't just lose a child when we were seventeen!"

She frowned. "I'm confused."

He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, coming out from behind the bar to sit on the couch, burying his face in his hands, his fingers tugging his hair. She went over and sat on the table across from him, pulling his hands away and smoothing out his hair. "Tell me what you mean," she pleaded. "I can't help this situation if you don't talk to me, Chuck."

He swallowed and shook his head hesitating. "I don't know how," he admitted. "I'm not good at the whole… sharing thing."

"Just… talk," she told him in a low voice, afraid if she spoke too loud, the feelings that he kept buried deep inside would recede back in.

She knew when she had started their relationship he was nothing like Nate. And she never expected him to be and had stopped comparing the two immediately. She knew the first time he hesitated in telling her he loved her, that the words would be few and far between. Which made it all the more special when he said them.

He wasn't a sharer and she never expected him to be. She had always been good at reading him. All the emotions he felt were in his eyes, flitting across easily for anyone who looked closely to read.

She'd been one of the brave ones to venture into his mesmerizing whiskey colored eyes. And now looking at them she saw the hesitation in them.

"Just.. talk," she whispered again, placing a hand on his cheek. "You know I won't judge you, Chuck. I would never."

"I know."

"I'm your wife, one of your best friends. We've done and said a lot worse than the topic of our conversation; we know each other's darkest secrets, we know how to ruin each other, yet we never use that information against each other. You know you can trust me, Chuck. You can tell me anything. Let me help."

They stared at each other before she watched him swallow and look away. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly as if he was thinking and forming the words, but not allowing them to come out or not being able to get them out.

"After we lost the baby, Blair, you were so… depressed," he whispered, his voice so low she had to strain to catch it. "We'd just found out and not two weeks later, before we even had a chance to even realize just what it meant to be parents at such a young age, to have that kind of responsibility, to admit to ourselves that we were actually ready to make that type of commitment, it all came crashing down."

He turned back to her, his eyes catching hers. Everything he'd kept inside for the past nine years came tumbling from his lips without a thought. A plug had been pulled and there was no putting it back. It was all or nothing at this point.

She stared at him with shocked eyes as he stared back at her with warring emotions flitting across his eyes, from agonizing to fearful. His eyes spoke so much more than what he was saying.

"Then, those three months when we didn't talk to each other? Worst three months of my life, Blair."

"I know."

"No," he said standing up abruptly, and looking at his with accusing eyes. "No, you don't know. After you got released from the hospital, you became this… this… this robot, going to school, going home, getting everything done before crawling into bed and crying. Do you know how horrible it is to see the person you're falling in love with hurt that way?"

"Chuck-"

"I wasn't good at cheering people up, I'm still not. You know that. But… God, those three months were hell for me, watching Serena and even _Nate_ do a better job at talking to you and caring for you than the guy that let you down in the end."

"You didn't let me down!" She told him standing up.

"I don't want to see you go through that again, Blair."

"You won't!"

"You can't promise that." He shook his head, his voice lowering again, and leaned against the wall in defeat. "I can't watch you self-destruct like last time, I don't think I would survive it if it happened again. Not just losing another child Blair, but I'm afraid I'd lose you completely. It took years for you to finally be yourself again after last time."

She shook her head with a frown.

"You didn't just snap out of it one day. You may not have realized it, but I did. You gradually became yourself, but still, even to this day, you're not the same as before."

"And that makes me a horrible person? Because I still mourn the baby I lost when I was seventeen, because I go to sleep every night hoping and praying that it was all a dream?"

"Of course not, Blair."

"I'm not going to lose this baby, Chuck. I'm not!"

"It's not something you can just promise, Blair. It's not something you fast-forward in that little movie in your head and see the outcome of. It's an unknown. You can't promise that if you do lose the baby, you'll be the same as before. Women can miscarry five times before they're able to actually carry to full term, Blair. Are you willing to lose five babies?"

She glared at him. "Will you allow me five babies?"

Chuck couldn't help the bitter laugh that came from his lips. "Sure, Blair, what's five more breaks in my heart going to do?"

"I don't want this to ruin us, Chuck." She looked up at him, hugging her stomach. "And I don't want to go through this alone."

"It won't ruin us, Blair."

"That's not something you can promise either… is it?" She stared at him a while longer while he stared back, both not quite sure what to say any more. She watched his mouth open with something to say before closing it again and looking away.

She grabbed her jacket and crossed the room to him. "What did you hope to gain from this conversation, Chuck? That I would take your side and get rid of our child? That I would make the decision by myself?"

"Of course not," he whispered.

"Because even if that was why, I wouldn't be able to do it. I've grown attached," she said with a teasing smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "And I really hope you do too."

"I don't think I can, Blair."

She nodded. "And now I know why and it's okay." She leaned up and kissed his lips softly. "I'll see you at home, okay? Six thirty," she reminded him before turning around and leaving him alone in his old suite staring after her, then the door after she'd left.

He blinked and pulled his phone out of his pocket, hitting two on his speed dial and putting the phone up to his ear. He gave a sigh of relief when the person at the other end answered.

"Nathaniel, do you have an hour to spare?" He asked. He heard the voice of his worried friend ask if everything was okay, Chuck cut him off, not wanting to stress his friend too much. "Everything's fine, Blair's fine. I'm just in need of some friendly advice. Meet me at my old suite?"

After Nate had agreed, he hung up his phone and sat on his couch again, closing his eyes and trying to rid his body of the tension his wife had created.

XxxX

The knock on the suite door roused him. He blinked his eyes slowly before rolling off the couch and walking to the door slowly. Opening the door, he smiled weakly at Nate who patted his arm.

"Did you and Blair argue?" Nate asked as he walked in and Chuck closed the door again.

"I'm not sure what we did," Chuck admitted. "We didn't really yell. I just… Do you think I'm too hard on Blair?"

Nate frowned as he sat on the couch, while Chuck grabbed two waters, tossing one to Nate before settling down on the bar stool.

"Hard on Blair, no."

"Am I overreacting over this?" Chuck asked, not used to having to ask for advice. Nate usually came to him, it was rare when he called Nate for advice on anything, let alone his marriage.

"Chuck, man, you've lost a child, it's understandable that you feel the need to protect Blair. Though I do think you taking her to an abortion clinic is taking it too far."

Chuck winced. "You heard about that?"

"Blair told Serena, who told Dan, who told Vanessa, who in turn yelled at me at what a prick you are. Look, Chuck, have you told Blair why you're acting like an asshole?"

"Yeah, we just got done talking about. This whole… sharing your feelings thing? Totally new to me."

"And Blair understands it. I just think you should ease up a bit on her."

"So I am being too hard on her."

"A bit, yeah," Nate said smiling sheepishly. "You know she didn't do this on purpose to spite you, you haven't pissed her off that bad."

"No, I haven't."

"And you also have to realize she didn't get herself pregnant and none of us got her pregnant."

"So I'm to blame?"

"Partially," Nate laughed. "I think one of the biggest fears Blair has is that you're going to close off to this so much and when she does have the baby, you're going to resent it."

"I won't."

"You know she'll be in just as much pain as she was losing the baby as will be having it?" Nate pointed out.

Chuck sighed and gave a short nod, having thought of that. "You know I'm not one to… feel."

"No, you're not. Serena says you're an emotional retard."

"I'll be sure to thank my dear sister next time I see her."

"I'll let her know," Nate laughed.

Chuck looked at Nate seriously as he gave a tired sigh. "I can't lose her, Nate."

"And you won't," Nate said standing and patting his shoulder. "Blair's a tough girl, man, you know that."

"I know, and I think that's what scares me the most," he whispered.

XxxX

They were getting ready in silence. Blair stared at the mirror in front of her, straightening the lace of her dress while Chuck stood behind her, tying his bow tie. Seeing his fingers get tangled in the fabric, she sighed and turned around to fix it, swatting his hands away when he resisted.

"I…" he opened his mouth, then closed it with a frown.

"What?" She asked.

"I'm…" he sighed and looked down at her as she made the final loop and straightened the bow. "I'm going to try."

She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Really?"

He closed his eyes and leaned his head so their foreheads rested against each other. "I'm still not happy about this and I'm not going to get my hopes up about it. But you're right, you shouldn't go through this alone, so I'll ease up about it."

"So I can talk to you about the nursery?" She asked with a smile.

"Blair!" He whispered in a pained voice.

"Sorry, too fast?"

"Yes, let's just get telling our families over with and then we'll talk, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded eagerly. She pulled away from him to sit on the bed and put on her shoes, then frowned, looking at him as he put on his suit jacket. "You're not just saying this to get back into the bed, are you?"

Chuck laughed and looked at his wife. "As much as I would have loved for that to be the reason, no. That's not why. I really do mean it."

She stood up, her heels securely strapped, and kissed him. "You're getting better at this whole sharing thing," she teased

"If you're lucky, feelings aren't the only thing I'll be sharing tonight," he leered.

"Glad to have you back, Bass," she laughed before leaving the room, just as he heard the first of their families arrive. He stared at himself in the mirror smoothing his hair and taking a deep breath before releasing it and going downstairs to greet his father and stepmother.

"Father." he smiled lightly and his father gave him his signature nod. "Lily, you're looking lovely as always."

Lily laughed and kissed his cheek. "Charles, always a charmer."

"Charles?" Bart asked looking towards the study.

"Yes, father?" Chuck asked looking at his dad as Blair talked to Lily.

"Why is there a blanket and a pillow in your study?" Bart asked, raising an eyebrow at his son. "Have you been sleeping in your office, son?"

"I, uh…"

"He's been working so hard," Blair laughed as she patted her father-in-law's arm. "I was missing him in bed last night and went to his office to see what he was up to. He fell asleep on the couch with his laptop. I didn't have the heart to wake him up. The maid must have forgotten to put the blankets and pillows back."

Chuck smiled tightly as he shut the office door. No need for his father to see the change of clothes he also had in there for the morning when he'd wanted to avoid Blair at all costs.

"Mom!" Blair smiled as she kissed her mother's cheek.

Slowly, within the next half hour the Van Der Bass -Waldorf family and counterparts had all trickled in and were making their way to the dining room, talking to each other.

Erik had come in shortly after Eleanor, his new boyfriend, Dimitri, trotting behind him, then Serena and Dan ten minutes after them, apologizing profusely for running late.

Blair sat them down, letting Bart Bass take the head of the table while Lily sat on his left side, with Eleanor next to her, then Erik and Dimitri. Chuck sat at his father's right, with Blair sitting next to him, and Serena and Dan next to her.

Dinner was served just as they settled, conversation never breaking. Lily and Eleanor talked fashion lines, Eleanor telling her all about the new line she'd just finished. Serena, Blair and Dan talked to Erik and his new boy toy Dimitri while Chuck talked business with his father.

The twice-a-month dinner for the family was done to get together and catch up on their lives. It had been instilled by Lilly when she'd first married Bart. They would jet off for weeks to some foreign place, leaving the Van Der Bass family to fend on their own. Not that they complained, it just meant Serena spent more time at the Humphrey loft, and Blair spent more time in Chuck's bed than her own.

But Lily wanted dinners together as a family when they arrived home. She wanted to hear everything they'd done or planned on doing. After Blair and Chuck had gotten married, they'd asked Eleanor to join in and every once in a blue moon Vanessa and Nate would join when Chuck was avoiding his father for one reason or another and needed his best friend as a distraction.

Since Blair and Chuck had a permanent residence in New York and their parents' varied, Blair had volunteered to take over the dinners, much to her delight.

The conversation kept up until the plates were cleared and dessert was brought out. Blair turned to Chuck who was looking at her. She tilted her head to the side in question, he gave a nod and clinked his glass softly to get the family's attention.

The chatter died down and Serena squeezed Blair's hand tightly in support as Blair and Chuck stood up.

Chuck cleared his throat as he formed the words that he really didn't want to say out loud. "While Blair and I are always happy to have our families in under the same roof, even if it is for a short time, it wasn't the only reason we asked you here tonight."

"Chuck and I have an announcement," Blair said with a true smile while Chuck's was a bit forced, not that his father would know the difference.

"Blair?" Eleanor said with a smile.

"I'm pregnant!" Blair said with a nod and a wide smile, causing her mother to tear up.

"Oh, oh," Eleanor said, dabbing her eyes, "My baby is having a baby."

Erik looked at her wide eyed, having known about the drama in high school, and looked at his sister. "Is this good?" he whispered.

Serena nodded. "Yeah, it is."

Erik stood and hugged Blair who had come around the table to hug her mother and Lily. He eyed Chuck who was talking to his father and walked over slowly so he could congratulate him.

"Well, congratulations, son."

"Thank you, father."

"Grandfather now, I guess." A slight smile came to Bart's mouth, tilting the frown he always wore upwards.

"Chuck," Erik said patting Chuck's shoulder. "Congratulations," he said as Bart left the two to sit back in his seat and listen to the conversations. "Is this good?"

Chuck shrugged as they stood away from the table, Blair talking to Serena excitedly about the plans she'd already made. "It makes her happy, so it has to be good, right?"

Erik laughed. "Is it my turn to give the brotherly advice?"

Chuck smirked and looked at his little brother, now twenty two years old instead of the fourteen-year-old he remembered him to be. "Of course."

"Don't let what your seventeen-year-old self believed and felt get in the way of what you feel now."

"And what do I feel now?" Chuck asked, amusement lacing his voice.

"Deep down, Chuck, you're happy. Scared shitless, sure, what prospective father wouldn't be, let alone one that's been what you and Blair have been through. But you're looking forward to this, just as much as she is. So… at the risk of sounding lame, go with the flow, Bass. Come nine months, you'll be a father."

He patted Chuck's arm once more before joining in on the planning of the nursery Blair had already envisioned, leaving Chuck staring after the scene with even more warring emotions than he had started with, and to say he didn't like it was an understatement.

XxxX

"What are you doing?" She asked later that night standing in the doorway of her husband's office.

"Getting ready for bed, what does it look like?" He asked, sarcasm lacing his voice as he pulled the blanket across the couch that had been his bed for the past week.

"The bedroom is upstairs," she said with a raised eyebrow.

He stood up straight and looked at her. "Excuse me?"

She rolled her eyes. "You are welcome back into the bedroom, should you want to sleep with me instead of by yourself." With a shake of her head she left the office and went upstairs to the bedroom.

She took off her white sheer robe and hung it up on the bed, leaving her silk chemise to fall mid-thigh as she settled under the covers, setting her laptop on top and looked at the page she'd been looking at without her husband's knowledge.

The door creaked open. She looked up and smirked as Chuck came into the bedroom, his pillow under one arm while the other held the clothes he'd snuck downstairs. He threw the pillow on his side of the bed and went into the bathroom to throw his dirty laundry in the chute.

"What are you looking at?" He asked as he put on a clean pair of silk pajama bottoms.

"Website," she murmured, handing him the remote for the TV as he settled over the covers.

"I know that," he said scanning the channels before settling on 'Breakfast At Tiffany's' when Blair's eyes lit up. "What website?" He turned and watched as Blair turned to him.

"You don't want to know."

"Blair!"

"_What to expect when expecting_."

Chuck frowned. "There's a website?"

"Hmm," she nodded. "It gives a week by week account on what to expect. It's nice."

Chuck stared at her for a brief second and blinked, suddenly very aware that he had no idea just how far along she was.

"How…" Chuck frowned as he continued to stare at her. She looked away from her screen to look at him.

"How what?" She asked.

"How far along are you?"

She smiled lightly and patted her hand to the space he'd put between them, signaling for him to come closer. "You said you'd try, right?"

With a sigh he scooted forward and rested his chin on her shoulder, looking at the computer screen and frowned at the week she was on. "Really?"

"Hmm," she nodded.

"Six weeks, that's it?"

"What did you expect?" She asked softly.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I mean I just assumed you were further along. It's a little too early to tell, isn't it?"

"We already know I'm pregnant, Chuck, I have the proof in the dresser," she said referring to the ultrasound. She rubbed his cheek lightly and kissed him softly. "Still scared?"

Chuck shrugged and closed his eyes instead of responding. Blair smiled softly. It was times like these when she was reminded of the small boy she'd met on the playground of the preschool class, shy and withdrawn. It hadn't been until kindergarten that he'd begun to be the Chuck that everyone knew him as, the troublemaker, the heartbreaker.

She liked the shy Chuck better. Her Chuck. She kissed his forehead and went back to the site. "Our baby is the size of a sweet pea, you know."

"Hmm."

"And the head is starting to form."

"Hmm," he repeated, skimming his lips over her shoulder.

Curious as to what to expect in her second trimester, she clicked the link and found week fourteen. Smiling, she clicked the article that was in the 'For Dad' section. She giggled causing Chuck to open his eyes.

"What?"

"You of all people have every reason to look forward to the pregnancy."

He scoffed. "And why is that?"

Blair laughed as she read the article she'd found. "'_A lot of women find that pregnancy increases their sexual appetite, leaving them hungry all the time (even when their partners are more than satiated.)__'_. See, it's when your horniness is welcome as well as that high stamina you're always bragging about."

"Bragging?" He said raising an eyebrow. "I'll show you bragging," he said closing her laptop and tossing it carefully on the floor before wrapping his arms around her back and laying her on the bed.

His lips traced her neck, nipping at the column of her throat as her fingers clenched on his back. One of his hand wandered down her thigh, slowly pushing the chemise up while the other pulled her hair back allowing him more access to her throat. Her legs parted allowing him to fall comfortably between them, their hips rubbing together.

He heard her moan and smirked against her throat as his fingers massaged her thigh.

"Chuck," she groaned. His nose pushed the thin strap off her shoulder as she groaned again, this time pushing at his shoulder. "Chuck, wait."

He pulled away and looked at her. "What?" he asked his breathing ragged, matching hers.

"I don't feel right," she said, her hands rubbing her stomach.

"It's normal, Blair, you should be used to that feeling," he smirked.

"No, it's not-ugh!" she pushed him off and ran to the bathroom, her hand covering her mouth. He winced and fell onto his back as he heard the first of her retching into the toilet.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples tiredly before getting up to hold his wife's hair back as she threw up into the toilet. This was going to be long nine months.

XxxxxX

_**A.N: **_

I hope you all enjoyed. I know I had fun writing this chapter.

I just want you all to know Chuck isn't doing a full on turn around about the baby. It's more like he's humoring Blair until he can wrap his mind around the whole thing.

I would love to know what you all think! And I'll try to post the next one soon!!

Kassandra


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